You can always buy a bottle of Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps, each of which comes wrapped in a veritable volume of proverbs, sayings, bits of advice, and a whole lot of randomness:
Click the picture to see this at full size--attempting to read the text by looking at the thumbnail is cruel and unusual for your eyes. I stuck it in the same OCR program I used on the Troopergate report and it did the equivalent and curling up in a fetal position in the corner, then soiling itself. Can't say I blame it.
Now, it's time to play "Where on this damned label is the line Clarus is talking about?"
- The directions tell you to tingle. I've never willed myself to tingle. Is this physiologically possible?
- One of the uses for this soap is apparently "Beach". Along with "uniforms" and "diapers"..."beach". Now, I heard you can get a lot of use out of one of these bottles of soap, but even that is a little ambitious, don't you think, doctor?
- Nine minutes? Where the hell did that number come from? Is ten really too many?
- This guy is seriously hot for hyphens.
- Did you know that the "M" and "A" in the name "Thomas" are optional?
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